Leslie Ungar, The Inner Brilliance of Electric Impulse, Inc.

How Do You Meet Your Defining Moments?

Leslie’s Articles

Who said the now infamous words, “I’LL BE BACK”?
What was the movie and can you name the year?
Now let’s look at “SHOW ME THE MONEY”?
Can you name this movie and identify this year?

Arnold first said these words twenty one years ago, in of course, The Terminator. And we remember these words as if he said them yesterday. Nine years ago Cuba Gooding Jr. said SHOW ME THE MONEY in the movie Jerry Maguire, and since then it has become apart of our vernacular.

You might be wondering what you have in common with the Terminator?
More than you might think at first glance! A movie character has a limited amount of time to get our attention and catch our interest. We have a limited amount of time to get our prospect’s attention and catch their interest.

Do you remember when you first heard of Arnold Swartzenager?
He had a strong accent and muscles that had muscles.
Would you have imagined that someday he would be the governor of California? Of course, not. We expected to see him just flex his muscles.

When he moved into the movie world, it made sense that he star in physical movies. We had him pigeon-holed in the role of “muscle-guy.”
But Arnold told himself a different story. He told himself that he could be more than the muscle guy in the movie. He told himself he could be a successful businessman, that he could even be gover-nator.

What do you tell yourself about your potential? What you tell yourself is what you tell others either directly through your words or indirectly in what you don’t say and your non-verbal communication.

Whether you are a doctor, a Realtor, or a hotelier, the business you are in is marketing, not medicine, homes, or commerce!! If you don’t have a prospect or a client, customer, member, patient, or guest—who will you perform your service on?

Can you see The Terminator telling himself that he was a bad shot?
Or what if the Cuba Gooding character didn’t really think he was worth more money-would he have been able to truly ask for it? Now imagine 30 minutes with your perfect prospective client to get their attention and catch their interest.

You know, the one whose commission, stature, or reputation could be a life changing event. What will you tell yourself as you prepare?

First, let’s look at the value of every minute of your performance. If you are in investments, that perfect account might represent $500,000. At that rate every minute is worth $16,666. If you are in banking or real estate, the perfect client might represent 5 million. Now every minute is worth $166,666.

If you want to leverage these minutes, then you first have to leverage your value. You have to understand that your value comes first from the stories you tell yourself.

Sarah was a wedding planner for the most expensive hotel in her city. She was adored by her bride clients, and an asset to the hotel. Except for one negative pattern in her results.

The owner and general manager asked me to work with Sarah to help her sell wedding packages and options without discounting them so often to her brides.
In working with Sarah I found that she offered to discount NOT because she saw less value in the hotel, the ballroom, the rooms, the food, or the service.

She discounted because of the story she told herself about her own personal value. Because she did not value her background or her experience, she approached each bride client and each situation from a position of little self value. It is very difficult to justify why your ball room is more money than your competitor’s, when you tell yourself you have little value.

We can’t stop our negative behavior. We can replace it with a more positive alternative. Sarah first identified the stories that she would tell herself before she met with a prospective bride. Then she wrote down the positive things she could say to herself to replace these stories. She continues to be diligent in replacing the stories she tells herself. She understands that what she tells herself about her value is what she communicates to others about the hotel’s value.

Identifying the stores that you tell yourself is the first step in what I call “Merchandising Your Mind” When you Merchandise Your Mind you process information differently. You discipline yourself to think, act, and talk in ways that propel you forward.

You realize that marketing is a mindset that affects everything you say and do.
And everything you didn’t say and didn’t do when you meet those moments that can change your life.

I call them defining moments. They are the moments in our professional and personal life that we often identify in retrospect. We look back and see that how we met these moments influenced the outcome of our presentation, conversation, or future. This is when we often hear ourselves saying, “I should have said”, or “I wish I would have said”. A stand-out presence can identify these defining moments in real-time, when they happen rather than in retrospect.

How do you identify defining moments? Questions often masquerade as defining moments. A defining moment question might sound like, “so tell me about yourself or can you do better on the price?”

It’s a defining moment because how you answer will change the direction of the conversation. Conversation changes the direction of relationships and outcomes. When we can meet defining moments by demonstrating value to our prospect, client, customer, member, patient, or guest we move the situation toward our goal. The more you communicate your value with clarity the more influence you will have on these moments. The more disciplined you are in the stories that you tell yourself, the more you communicate with clarity.

I don’t know how many of you have stayed at The Ritz. The president of the Ritz Hotels addresses each new recruiting class about how to meet one particular defining moment: price. He admits that a person would be crazy to spend $600 on a bed for a night! The story he tells himself and the story he communicates to new recruits is a different twist. He begins the road to Merchandising Your Mind with this two sentence story: People don’t spend $600 on a bed for a night.
Guests spend $600 for the experience.

What are the stories you tell yourself about your value? How do you meet your defining moments? Are you Merchandising Your Mind to communicate your value with clarity in everything you say and do?

Whether every minute with your prospect or client is worth $16,666 to you or $166,666 you will want to be your most affluent self.